Installing Husband 1.0

Subject: Installing a Husband
> Date: Thu, 3 Apr 2008 12:16:24 -0500
>
> Dear Tech support,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
> distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower
> and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
> programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
> system. I’ve tried running Nagging
> 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
>
> Signed,
> Desperate
>
>
> DEAR DESPERATE,
>
> First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
> Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter
> command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t
> forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as
> designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry
> 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
> But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
> default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that
> Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the
> background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
> Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
> unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
> and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
> additional software to improve memory and performance.We
> recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
>
> Good Luck,
> Tech Support

This was a forwarded email to me ūüôā

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